Funny Money


Karen Wagg, P&FS

Funny Money

With news that Ken Cheng’s pound coin gag was voted the Edinburgh fringe’s funniest joke Redleaf wondered just what are the funniest money and investment jokes around? Here are our favourites, but please share yours.


  • I’m not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change.


  • If time is money are ATMs time machines?


  • Always borrow money from a pessimist – they won’t expect it back.


  • I am so poor I can’t even pay attention.


  • Money talks.. but all mine ever says is goodbye.


  • I bet you £5,688.99 you can’t guess how much I owe my bookie


  • Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money.


  • Inflation is just being broke with a lot of money in your pocket.


  • If you are joining a new bank bring money with you. You really need to make sure you take that into account.


  • Credit cards are very dangerous. Every time I try to use one somebody starts chasing me with scissors.


  • Why did the man put his money in the freezer? – He wanted cold hard cash.


  • The fastest way to double your money is to fold it in half.


  • The most successful investor of all time was Noah: he floated stock while everything around him went into liquidation.


  • Bankers never die… they just lose interest.


  • What’s the different between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are $3.50 but deer nuts are under a buck.



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